Your weekly dose of Alluviance!
I used to think I needed more confidence.
Before conversations where I knew someone might challenge me, question me, or see through the polished version of whatever I was about to say.
So I’d prep harder.
Review the notes again.
Run the talk track in my head.
Tell myself some version of, “You got this.”
And sometimes it worked.
Until the buyer asked something I didn’t expect.
Or the room got quiet.
Or someone pushed back and my whole body tightened.
Then all that manufactured confidence would disappear.
I’d go straight into my head.
Trying to sound smart.
Trying to get control back.
Trying to prove I belonged in the room.
I couldn't let anyone see the giant mask I was wearing.
This is where a lot of people, myself very much included, get it wrong.
Confidence is fragile when it depends on the room cooperating.
The call going well.
The buyer liking you.
The deal moving forward.
The room seeing you the way you want to be seen.
Self-trust is different.
Self-trust says:
Even if this gets messy, I can stay with myself.
That’s a much deeper kind of strength.
Especially in sales.
Because this job gives you endless opportunities to abandon yourself.
A call starts going sideways and suddenly you’re performing certainty instead of actually listening.
I’ve done this a lot.
Still do.
There’s an old part of me that thinks if I can sound confident enough, nobody will see the mask that's hiding what is underneath.
But people can feel it.
That’s why I don’t think confidence is the goal.
The deeper work is self-connection under pressure.
That’s where craft and inner work meet. That’s what buyers actually trust.
Not the person trying to manufacture confidence.
The person grounded enough to stay human when the plan changes.
So maybe the question before your next call isn’t:
“How can I feel more confident?”
Maybe it’s:
“Can I stay connected to myself no matter what happens?”
Because when you can do that, confidence stops being something you chase.
It becomes something people feel.
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