Your weekly dose of Alluviance!
The hardest blind spots in my life have never felt like blind spots.
They felt like me.
My standards.
My ambition.
My way of leading.
My perfectly reasonable explanation for why I was reacting the way I was reacting.
That’s what makes this stuff so sneaky.
If a pattern looked obviously dysfunctional from the inside, we’d probably change it.
But it usually feels justified.
“I care a lot.”
“I just have high standards.”
“I’m just being responsible.”
“I work better when I handle it myself.”
Meanwhile, someone else is experiencing the other side of it.
Pressure.
Control.
Distance.
A version of you that you genuinely cannot see from where you’re standing.
I’ve done A LOT of inner work.
And I still have parts of myself I need other people to reflect back to me.
There are things you can learn alone.
And then there are things you can only learn in relationship.
You need someone close enough to feel your patterns.
Honest enough to name them.
And loving enough that you can actually hear it.
That’s one of the reasons community has become such a central part of this work for me.
The right people become mirrors.
They show you the gap between who you believe you’re being and what it actually feels like to be with you.
Sometimes that reflection feels amazing.
Sometimes you want to argue with the mirror.
(I’m particularly talented at that one.)
But if you stay curious long enough, there’s usually something there.
You cannot think your way into seeing everything about yourself.
Some of it has to be reflected back.
And then you get the choice.
Defend the version of yourself you already know.
Or get curious about the version other people are experiencing.
That’s the deeper invitation of community.
To be known closely enough that you can no longer hide from yourself.
1. Featured LinkedIn Post:
"What a gift to be busy with the right things"
There's a kind of busy that drains you and a kind that fills you. I felt the difference this week.
I've been back to back every single day this week.
Barely 30 min to myself on the calendar and ended each day fully wiped.
But on my morning walk with the pup, it hit me.
2. Quote to fuel your Alluviance:
"We’re all just walking each other home."
– Ram Dass
With Alluviance & In Extreme Gratitude,
Alex Kremer