Your weekly dose of Alluviance!
The best apology I ever wrote went to a VP of Sales.
I’d just blown her demo.
Her BDR manager had already told me, “This is exactly what we need.” So when the VP joined, I recapped what the manager said and launched straight into the product.
Zero questions.
Every feature.
Felt like I crushed it.
“Thanks for your time. I’ll sync with my BDR manager and get back to you.”
Click.
I knew in my gut that I completely misread that. When I thought about it from her perspective, it was clear I had broken a gold rule in sales...
So I sent her an email:
“I think I focused on selling you our product instead of solving your problems. The truth is, I don’t know what your problems are. Can I get 30 minutes to learn about your business and see if we can help?”
No excuse.
No “but.”
No story about how tight the timeline was.
She said yes. That second call changed the whole deal.
I wish I apologized that cleanly at home.
I catch myself doing the opposite all the time.
“I’m sorry, but it’s been a crazy week.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s not what I meant.”
“I’m sorry, but can I just explain where I was coming from?”
All technically true. (Mostly.)
And every one of them turns the apology into a pitch.
Their hurt becomes the objection.
My explanation becomes the rebuttal.
“We’re good” becomes the close.
Alexia and I did a couples retreat a few weeks ago. She triggers the hell out of me, and I do the exact same to her. We’re constant mirrors.
My teacher Rob calls it the visionary mirror. How you relate to your partner is how you relate to your business.
Which means if I’m trying to close my apologies at home...
I’m probably doing it on my calls too.
A prospect once told me on our final call, “It felt like you were just trying to close me.” OUCH. They were right. And they could feel it.
The people we love can feel it too.
They can feel when “I’m sorry” is really asking them to stop being upset.
They can feel when we need their forgiveness so we can feel like a good person again.
So I’m practicing the VP email at home.
Name what I did.
Say I’m sorry.
Then stop talking.
That last part is the hardest. For a salesperson, silence after a hard sentence feels like dead air on a cold call.
But trust lives in the silence. And your explanation can wait.
That’s the work, my friends.
1. Featured LinkedIn Post:
"Only 5% of your first meeting should be about you."
I've built 25+ initial meeting decks over 12 years in tech sales, and 4 years now running my own company.
The decks that lose open with...
2. Quote to fuel your Alluviance:
"A true apology does not include the word ‘but.’"
– Harriet Lerner
With Alluviance & In Extreme Gratitude,
Alex Kremer